GNT #163: A permission slip

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TL;DR: Changing your mind isn't weakness. It's what happens when you're actually paying attention. The people I respect most have updated their beliefs more than once.

I want to share something a little more personal today.

Lately I've been noticing a pattern in myself. Places where I held a belief so tightly, for so long, that I stopped questioning it. And then something cracked it open.

I've been thinking about what it actually takes to give yourself permission to change your mind. Especially when the old belief felt like part of your identity.

Let me give you a few examples.

E-bikes

Ed and I just got back from Bentonville, Arkansas. Spring break, mountain biking, the whole thing.

Before that trip, I had a very clear opinion about e-bikes. They were for people who didn't really want to work. Lazy. Not real biking.

Then I watched legitimate mountain bikers, people who were serious athletes, using e-bikes on the climbs. Not so they could coast. But so they didn't burn their legs out getting up the hill, so they could push hard on the way down.

They were working. Hard. The e-bike just made the whole experience more sustainable.

I was completely wrong. And I could feel the moment the old belief dissolved. It was fast. A little humbling. And kind of a relief.

AI

In late 2022, I was coaching a marketing manager and he mentioned he had used AI to write a description.

My immediate internal reaction was: that's lazy. That's not real work.

I didn't say it out loud. But I thought it.

Today I use AI regularly. It helps me think more clearly, move faster, and honestly, live better. It's a tool, like any other. And the person I was coaching in 2022 was ahead of me.

I cringe a little thinking about that reaction. But I also feel grateful that something eventually shifted and I embraced it.

My health

This one is a little more personal, so bear with me.

I had long held a belief that I would never supplement hormones. The reason was simple and felt like common sense: hormones cause cancer. I had internalized that so completely that I never really questioned it.

I'm currently reading a book called The New Menopause. And I'm encountering a lot of science-backed information I had never been exposed to before. Information that is changing how I think about women's health, and about my own.

I haven't made any decisions yet. That's not the point.

The point is that I had a belief so firm that it wasn't even on my list of things to reconsider. And I'm realizing that belief deserved more scrutiny than I gave it.

What I'm noticing

In all three cases, the pattern is the same.

I had a strong opinion. I hadn't examined it recently. New information showed up. I resisted briefly. And then I let it in.

None of these moments made me feel like I was falling apart. Each one actually felt like growing up a little.

I think we sometimes confuse consistency with being right. We hold a belief for a long time, and the length of time starts to feel like evidence.

But it isn't.

→ Changing your mind is not the same as being unreliable.

→ Updating a belief is not the same as not having values.

→ Staying curious is not the same as being wishy-washy.

The version of me that judges quickly and holds tight is trying to protect something. I get that. But she also misses things. Good things.

The version I'm trying to be asks a little more often: what am I not seeing here?

Takeaway

You don't have to abandon everything you believe to grow. But it's worth asking, every now and then, which beliefs you're holding because they're truly yours and which ones you just never got around to questioning.

Give yourself the permission slip. You aren't less credible for changing your mind. You're just paying closer attention.

I'm always rooting for you. See you next week.

-Colleen

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