GNT #159: One habit to rule them all

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TL;DR: You don’t need another tool or routine. You need the habit of questioning your own thoughts. Notice the trigger, name the thought, question it. Do that consistently, and your life will change.

Most of us try to change our lives by adding something.

A cool new food tracking tool. A physical therapy morning routine. A better calendar and system. More discipline. More learning. More effort.

I’ve done this for years. I’m good at it, honestly. I can over-optimize almost anything.

But lately I’ve been thinking about a different kind of change. Not the kind that comes from adding more, but from noticing what is already driving the bus.

Because the truth is, most of us are not short on information.

We are short on awareness.

We are living from assumptions that feel like facts.

And we keep building new goals on top of old programming, then wonder why we stall out or burn out in the same patterns.

That’s where self-inquiry comes in.

And I believe it might be the most powerful habit you can build, especially if you are ambitious, capable, and already doing “all the right things.”

Today I want to show you a simple way to practice self-inquiry so it actually changes your life, not just your thoughts.

Let’s get to it.

What self-inquiry actually is

Self-inquiry is your ability to turn inward and question what you are thinking, assuming, and believing.

Not from a place of judgment, but with honest curiosity.

It is the practice of asking, “Is this true?” before your thoughts become decisions, and your decisions become your life.

Most of us don’t do this in real time. We react to comments, deadlines, slow replies, and moments of uncertainty.

Then we call the reaction... that's just “who I am.”

Self-inquiry creates space between what happens and what you do next.

And that space is a really powerful place.

Why it matters for purpose-led, high performing people

If you’re the kind of person who wants to grow, build, lead, and make meaningful progress, you are also the kind of person who can get trapped running outdated internal scripts.

You can be wildly capable and still be operating from beliefs like:

• If I slow down, I will fall behind

• If I say no, I will disappoint people

• If I am not excellent, I am not safe

These beliefs may have been useful at some point.

They may have even protected you earlier in life.

But if they are still running the show unconsciously, they will shape your relationships, your confidence, your leadership, your health, and your ability to enjoy what you’re building.

Self-inquiry is how you stop calling your programming “personality.”

The one practice I want you to try this week

You do not need a full journaling retreat to start. You just need a repeatable moment of pause.

Here’s the simple 3-step method.

1) Notice the charge

The signal is emotional intensity.

It can be anxiety, defensiveness, frustration, shame, people-pleasing energy, perfectionism energy, or the sudden urge to fix everything immediately (my big one!).

Your emotional charge is information.

The goal is simply to notice, “I’m activated.”

2) Ask one question: What was I just thinking?

This is the turning point.

Because your emotion is usually downstream of a thought you barely noticed.

Examples:

• “I’m behind.”

• “They’re going to judge me.”

• “I’m not doing enough.”

• “This shouldn’t be happening.”

• “If I don’t handle it, no one will.”

Do not debate it yet. Just name it.

3) Question the thought like a scientist

Now you get curious. Try a few of these questions:

• What am I assuming?

• Is this completely true, or just familiar?

• Where did I learn this?

• What is another explanation that could be true?

You are not trying to “think positive.” You are trying to see clearly. And then choose deliberately.

That’s where your agency lives.
 

Takeaway

If you want to make this real, just keep it simple.

For the next 30 days, pick one recurring trigger. Something you know shows up all the time, like feeling behind, getting feedback, or the urge to over-deliver.

When it hits, run the same sequence every time:

Notice the charge
Name the thought
Question it with curiosity

You’re not trying to become a brand-new person in a month. You’re just building the habit of not blindly obeying your first assumption.

This is slow work. But it’s the kind that compounds and changes how you move through your life.

I'm always rooting for you. See you next week.

-Colleen

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